To all our Dads...

Copyrighted 2016 Judi Getch

This is dedicated to my Dad.  The words to describe what his loss means to me... they just aren't there.  Oh but for five more minutes with him...

Excerpt from "Safe Harbors" published in Ocean Magazine 2012...

“I looked down at my father’s casket.  He had always been there for me – my whole life. I talked – he listened; I cried – he comforted; I lost my way – he guided me back.  One minute he was there, the next minute he was gone. 

Someone softly spoke my name; I turned wiping the tears from my face – an embrace, a word of sympathy, a kiss on the cheek. 

I heard only the hum of the priest’s words at the grave, “May he rest in peace… let us pray for him.” 

I stood there in a daze. Someone took my hand, kissed my cheek, moved on to my sisters and my mother. The mourners milled around and then softly made their way to their cars until our family stood there, alone.  I pulled a pink rose from a floral arrangement and placed it on my father's casket, placed my fingers on my lips and laid them next to the rose.  My final goodbye kiss.  I turned, hollow eyed and empty, making my way back to the black limousine.  My only thought,

 What would I do now?  He had been in my life forever…

The wind whipped my hair against my face as I pulled the collar of my coat tighter around my neck.  My ears stung and my eyes teared.  It always felt much colder here as winter approached.  The dampness of the water, I guessed.  Most of the boats in the harbor were gone now.

It was November 5th, my father’s birthday.  I had been struggling since August, when he died, to put my life back on course.  He had always said, “If you need me, you’ll find me by the ocean,” so here I was, by the ocean, and in desperate need of him. 

I stood looking across the lonely empty harbor, bracing myself against the cold, icy wind.  It looked the same as it did when I was a child.  I closed my eyes and could see us, my two sisters and myself, running up the sand dunes, screaming and pointing at horseshoe crabs, throwing the beach ball, toasting marshmallows over the fire, laughing; my mother sitting on the blanket, leaning back on her arms, her face in the sun, a smile on her lips; my father, dripping from his swim, running to the blanket and spraying her with water.  He bent over and kissed her playfully.  I saw myself floating on a blown up inner tube, watching my parents on the shore.  Suddenly, I slipped through the hole in center.  Down I went under the water, valiantly trying to reach the surface when suddenly a strong pair of hands grabbed me and lifted me out of the water into the sunshine as I gulped for air.  Coughing and sputtering, I rubbed my stinging eyes. 

“You’re safe” he said as he hugged me.  “I’ll always keep you safe, I promise” he whispered in my ear. 

He always kept his promises I realized standing there.  He had given me the strength and courage to cope with whatever obstacles life laid at my feet.  And with tears in my eyes, I smiled knowing that this was where I would always come to replenish my soul and mend my heart.  This was where I could always find the rhythm of my life.”